Body After Baby: The First Week

In case you missed it I launched a new series here on the blog called Body After Baby. I kicked off the series in this blog post and explained why I decided to dedicate several posts to this topic and shared a little bit about my experience with weight gain during pregnancy and my thoughts on our bodies after having a baby…

Since this is something I didn’t document in the moment, I am going back in time a little bit to share what those first couple of months were like for me after having Mila. A part of me wishes I sat down to record exactly what I was feeling in some of those difficult moments. Some things and moments I remember so vividly but I’m also certain there are many things I’ve already forgotten.

I made the choice not to share this months ago because I feared that I would sound like I was complaining or looking for sympathy. I also didn’t want to scare anyone. But in retrospect, I wish I would have shared this sooner. It’s not for everyone but I really like listening to other women’s experiences.

It’s important to note that when I reference “Body After Baby”, I’m not simply talking about how to get back in shape. I’m talking about any sort of effect this has had on your wellness whether it be physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, you name it. There is SO much that goes on in our bodies after having a baby and adapting to those changes can be HARD.

Here is a peek into what my personal experience was the first few weeks after having Mila… *just a heads up some information might be TMI!

THE FIRST WEEK

So I don’t think I ever shared any of this on Instagram or the blog but my recovery was really rough. I know some women go home from the hospital and heal pretty quickly but that was not my case at all.

During delivery I ended up needing an episiotomy which left me with several stitches (I believe mine was a second-degree episiotomy). I was told it would take a few weeks to heal and to be extra careful anytime I went to the bathroom as well as not to move around too much. Easier said than done…

If you’ve already been through labor and delivery you know it is not the easiest thing to pee after… because I was unable to pee I ended up having to get a catheter. *this seems like random information but will make sense later…

When we got home from the hospital we were both on cloud nine. Our little girl was finally here and gosh was she perfect. Like any new parents we were both slightly terrified we were now in charge of keeping this little angel alive but in all honesty I was very calm about everything. Maybe it was from the severe sleep deprivation and the fact that my brain probably wasn’t functioning properly but I felt very comfortable in my skin as a new mom.

With all of that being said, I was also in some of the worst pain I had ever experienced. I consider myself to have a pretty high pain tolerance (when I fractured my back I didn’t go to the hospital for a few days, I’ve had more than one concussion and different injuries playing soccer that I always tried to tough out…), but this was different. Barely being able to walk, bleeding A LOT and as the days went on I only seemed to be getting worse. For a while I told myself it was just the exhaustion making things worse but I hit a point where I started to think something was wrong.

Before I continue I just want to make it clear if you EVER feel like something may be wrong, or feels off, whether that be with you OR your baby, call your doctor. I was bad about this and probably should have called my doctor in several situations.

I was certain some of my stitches had come out with the amount of bleeding I still had and pain I was in (and I also saw one come out). Ita and I agreed I needed to get into the doctor to make sure everything was ok and I was healing the way I should (this is not a part of your body you want to take any risks with…). On the way to the doctor I started shivering and my muscles were contracting uncontrollably. I couldn’t stop my teeth from chattering and I couldn’t stop shaking. I felt like I didn’t have control of my body.

My doctor was unfortunately unable to see me so I met with the Physician’s Assistant. I am sure she was fully capable of treating me but of course in the back of my head all I could think about was how I wanted my doctor who actually delivered my baby and performed the episiotomy to be checking to make sure things were ok. To top things off their practice had just been bought out by another system and they were training new employees as well as training on their new computer system… exactly what you want to be sitting through when you’re in pain, shaking, exhausted, and have a newborn with you. Being the person I am I still mustered up the energy to smile, be polite and patiently wait for them to figure out whatever it was they were trying to do on the computer (at one point they had another patient’s information pulled up and didn’t realize it until I happen to notice it was a different name on their computer screen…).

When the PA finally saw me she said she thought everything seemed ok and reassured me it was just going to take some time to heal. At this point (about an hour into the appointment), I could feel myself going downhill. My body ached everywhere and I just felt like something was really wrong. I mentioned to the PA that I hadn’t even had my temperature taken so she had a nurse come in to check it. I waited a while before she came in and honestly felt so defeated. Was nothing wrong with me and I was just being weak? When the nurse came back in to take my temperature it was 102. She then got the PA right away to tell her and after some more tests they realized I had a very bad urinary tract infection from (you guessed it) the catheter…

They also said I needed to go to the imaging center to get an ultrasound to make sure there was no placenta left (thankfully I was good there but the process of checking was not fun).

I broke down in tears to Ita in the room once they told me my temperature and that I had an infection. I’m not sure if I broke down because I felt my pain was justified or because I was so upset I was having to deal with this while trying to take care of my newborn baby. I remember being so emotional that I was jeopardizing the quality of care I could give to Mila. To top it off I had to be on antibiotics (the last thing I would want when breastfeeding) which they claimed would not effect Mila. When I walked out of the office I was still uncontrollably crying (SO NOT LIKE ME FYI). I saw my doctor in the hall and she just hugged me and said how sorry she was I was going through this. All of the nurses were so sweet too and of course tried to make me feel better by saying how beautiful Mila was.

YOU’RE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK

Whether you went through something like this after having your baby or something worse (and trust me, I know some of you went through much worse!), we have probably all had at least one moment where we felt like our bodies were failing us. Like we were completely shutting down and unsure how we would be able to keep going. One of the really awesome things I discovered about myself during this time was how strong I really am. Our ability as women to go through some of the things we do and take our bodies to the point where it almost seems impossible to go on without sleep or rest and yet somehow we still do it and still take care of our babies is kind of amazing. Our bodies are AMAZING. YOU ARE AMAZING!

I didn’t start feeling somewhat better for a month. When you aren’t sleeping at night and feeding a baby around the clock a month is a really long time. But I got through it. It is pretty incredible how much strength holding your baby and looking into their eyes can give you. These days were still truly some of the BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE! I know that might sound so strange because I just wrote over a thousand words explaining the pain I went through and how awful it was but it was still some of the greatest days of my life. I was in a hazy state for a while but I also feel like I was hypnotized and high from my love for Mila. Having a baby does crazy things to your head and body but even more to your heart.

I hope you know that no matter what you go through or may be going through that it’s ok to ask for help. It will get better and sometimes no matter how strong you are you still need support.

A few things that helped me a lot that first month…

1. Ita – I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have him home with me those first couple of weeks. Even though you may be feeding your baby around the clock and staying up all night there are times you hit a wall and just have to sleep. As hard as it is sometimes I definitely recommend sleeping when the baby is sleeping!
2. Cooked meals – my mom brought food over a lot. Lots of simple, hearty meals and plenty of healthy snacks. Not having to worry about that kind of thing was such a big help.
3. Baths – I’m not a big bath person and I didn’t take any for at least a week I think but just sitting in a tiny bit of water or doing a sitz bath helped the healing process and helped me sit and relax even if it was just for a few minutes.
4. I drank tons of water. SO IMPORTANT. You won’t even realize how much staying hydrated will help you AND your baby.
5. Nursing Mila – I think that bonding time was just so special and no matter how tired I’d get I was always happy and content nursing her.
6. Dermoplast – that pain relieving spray, the peribottle and ice packs helped A LOT the first week. Oh and mesh underwear.

I’ll be sharing another Body After Baby post soon (I promise you won’t have to wait as long for this next post!). I’ll be talking about breastfeeding, when I started working out and more soon!

I would love if you left a comment with any postpartum experiences you had the first week… I know it might not be easy but you never know who it could help! Also of course if you have any questions feel free to comment with those as well!

Thanks for reading!

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